Many thanks to Turtle Woman for the first line of this awful song – hee,hee! –
and many, many apologies to the wonderful lateNat "King" Cole, Mel Torme and Robert Wells
for the desecration of probably one of the lovliest of Christmas songs…

December 2001

Chak’s nuts roasting on an open fire,
Kathryn’s pissed as she can be;
For she's found proof all around
Of him… as faithless as can be.

Everybody knows of him and Borgie babe
Making whoopee high and low;
Anywhere there’s a little nook,
They’re there – all sweaty and aglow.

But now they better watch their step,
The captain’s finally had enough;
And now she’s planning sweet revenge –
To prove that she’s no meek powder puff.

And so she’s offering this simple choice
To him and to that blasted plastic shrew –
Break it up, right here and now…
Or it’s space toast for both of you!

~~~~ Happy Holidays, Everyone! ~~~~

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