Section 1 of 2: The Summary

Voyager, in an attempt to keep their probe away from the thieving Maelon, maneuvered it into an atmospheric layer of a Class 6 gas giant, which then (of course) became stuck (the probe, not Voyager or the Maelon). The crews of both Voyager and the Maelon began a race to see who could first build a shuttle to pierce the gassy atmosphere and retrieve the probe. Meanwhile (and a tad inconveniently, I might add), B'Elanna had become horribly depressed over the deaths of her fellow Maquis back in the Alpha quadrants and took very serious risks to her life on the holodeck. She was found out when she injured herself into unconsciousness. Chakotay forced her (minds out of the gutter, people!) to reveal what the problem was.. And they all lived happily ever after, munching on banana pancakes.

Section 2 of 2: The Review

I have finally figured out why everyone on this show is clinically depressed -- or at least extremely morose. It's because this show SUCKS! This series is really beginning to chap my ass. That said, I find this episode title ironic for a show that takes no risks at all.

I was bored senseless (no nasty comments from the peanut gallery, please) during this entire hour. Usually, I make it a habit to rewatch the Voyager episode the following evening it was aired to weed out and jot down the pertinent comments and quotes for Cilla's pithy review. I was able to make it through the first fifteen minutes. But then…well…let's just say that Joey found out that Chandler and Monica had been seeing each other since Ross' wedding in England. Oh, and Ross finally told Rachel that he can't be her friend anymore because of his new wife. The kicker is I have never before watched this particular sitcom! (If anyone knows why Ross can't be friends with Rachel, could you email me please?)


I have noticed that there have been no land missions in quite a while. We haven't trouped through the sacred homelands of aliens since "Mortal Coil" (I don't count "Demon" because they were just lumbering through a cave. Nor do I count "Living Witness" because it was in the future). I wonder why we haven't seen other worlds? Maybe it's cheaper just to shoot the same interior ship scenes over and over and over and over…

I was delighted to notice a spectacular shot of Boobie's butt. I was planning on watching this scene again, to note the shapes of the shadows as they separately highlighted each cheek. But (no pun intended), Niles was flirting with Daphne and I was off yet again. So, I will just have to describe the camera angle from memory. This particular sexist shot was taken at an angle just below her posterior cleavage so that we could see every indentation in her spray paint "uniform". That ought to be worth a few points with the male demographic. I did notice that Barbie's boobies were smaller in this episode. Or maybe I have just been so anesthetized by this ongoing graphic display of sexism, that I have become semi-catotonic.

Hats of to Tom (or should that be "toupees off to Tom"?) for his skilled acting in this episode. I think that was the one thing that kept this cheese plot together. He seemed genuine throughout this entire pathetic attempt at science fiction entertainment. But the comedy award this week must go to our favorite young Ensign. As Seven said, in a meeting on the holodeck, "Lt. Torres' hull design is flawed", Harry's reaction was priceless. His eyes grew quite large, flicked to the left in his head to look at B'Elanna, shifted back to Boobie, and then he turned to circumvent a violent reaction from our Klingon. Quite amusing. I have watched this portion several times.

I was quite disappointed to see Voyager's most skilled actor had only three lines in this drivel. If I am subjected to Silicone Hell, I would at least like to be entertained with something genuine. When you use weak writers who in turn produce a pathetic script, it is imperative that you fire the big guns to disguise the fact that a fifth grade book report on Curious George Goes to the Market is more compelling.

Which brings me to the "plot". Why, if B'Elanna has been THAT depressed, have we not seen evidence of it before?? Remember the first season, when this show was pretty good? I know it's hard to remember a time when that was the case, but think very hard. Well, Paris was insubordinate for many episodes so that the Captain and Tuvok (leaving out the Bridge Poodle) could filter out the traitor. The storyline was built over time and it was convincing. It just didn't start and stop with one episode, making everything neat and tidy. I found "Extreme Risks" no more believable that I did Captain Janeway's depression. I do not know if this is TPTB's pitiable attempt to make our female leaders appear weak so that the male demographic is not threatened by these strong and fearless women. But whatever the reason, the attempt was laughable.

Questions, catty comments, and other observations:

  1. Why did the Maelon want the probe?
  2. Since when is the insignia of Voyager on the shuttles? I thought that the shuttles didn't have any insignia but Starfleet's.
  3. When B'Elanna asked Neelix for some banana pancakes, that sweet little man walked over to the replicator to get them for her. Why? Can she not get her half-Klingon butt over to the replicator to get them herself??? Why was he waiting on her?
  4. Why, when Torres overrode the safety protocols on the holodeck, was she not prompted for her password? I seem to recall that this was the procedure on TNG.
  5. Why can't Seven just tell the Captain what her findings are. She has to order the Captain to report to the lab? I think not!
  6. Why in the hell did Paris put the Captain Proton knobs on the Delta Flyer (nice name, by the way. :::snork::: Very original. Right up there with The Void and The Vortex)? I can't imagine Kathryn allowing that.
  7. If B'Elanna can beat the stuffing out of two Cardassians, why was our faithful bridge ornament able to haul her into the holodeck against her will?
  8. First I complained that Kathryn's hair was too flat. Now it's too stiff. When she moves, her hair doesn't. Will they ever get this right????? Please, oh please, bring back the ponytail.
  9. I have already noted this, but I swear that Plastic Girl's boobs were much smaller than they ever have been.
  10. Bring back the Kazon! At least they were slightly interesting. Come to think of it, the Maelon fit right in with the episode. Major snooz!

Rating: Oi. I don't ever want to watch that trash again. I certainly hope TPTB get their act together. And they wonder why ratings are down. Big mystery. :::cough:::

No J/C, no Doctor, huge butt shot for Seven, no plot, no Doctor (did I mention that there was no Doctor?), no funny lines for the Doc-…er…anyone, boring aliens.…I give this garbage a 3 out of 9.